I blocked my own bullet....

Monday, April 19, 2004

Today...

Today was fairly well for me, but not very well for another. I hope her day gets better. <3. I actually wanted to make it better by sending an ecard, but Hallmark.com is at the moment not working. I'll try it again after I write this. I just wanted to say today has been a fairly good day for me. Let me tell you why. I am doing 6 % better than i was a few days ago. So I'm very happy about that. Proud also. :-] Hmm, I talked to a good friend of mine Emma the other day and her again today. It was really nice talking with her again. She supports the british also. :-] Anyways, I hope everyone has a good rest of the afternoon. Please take care.

Heaven....

Posted at 05:23 pm by Bryan
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Monday, April 12, 2004

D'yer Ma'ker

You don't have to go
You don't have to go
You don't have to go
All those tears I cry
All those tears I cry
Baby please don't go
When I read the letter you wrote me
It made me mad
When I read the news that it brought me
It made me sad
But I still love you so
I can't let you go
I love you, oh baby I love you
Every breath I take
Every move I make
Baby please don't go
You hurt me to my soul
You hurt me to my soul
Darling please don't go
You don't have to go
You don't have to go
Baby please
Oh baby I still love you so

Posted at 04:59 pm by Bryan
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Friday, April 02, 2004

Gorgeous.

I caun't sleep, Yet I'm so exhausted. I've been online looking at photographs. Here is a black and white photograph of a gorgeous waterfall you look like you could hide behind.... So lovely. I am very fond of this picture. I hope everyone else who looked at it is too. I'm going to go again. So Everyone have a wonderful and peaceful night.

Posted at 11:41 pm by Bryan
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Song For Always.... And Forever & all Eternity

tell me what you thought about when you were gone 
and so alone 
the worst is over 
you can have the best of me 
we got older 
but we're still young 
we never grew out of this feeling that we wont give up 
here we lay again 
on two separate beds 
riding phone lines 
you hear a familiar voice 
and pictures drawn from memory 
we reflect on miscommunications 
and misunderstandings 
and missing each other too 
much to vow to let go 
turn our music down 
and we whisper 
"say what you're thinking out loud"
tell me what you thought about when you were gone 
and so alone 
the worst is over 
you can have the best of me 
we got older 
but we're still young 
we never grew out of this feeling that we wont give up 
jumping to conclusions 
made me fall away from you 
I'm so glad that the truth has brought back together me and you 
we're sitting on the ground and we whisper 
"say what you're thinking right now"
tell me what you thought about when you were gone 
and so alone 
the worst is over 
you can have the best of me 
we got older 
but we're still young 
we never grew out of this feeling that we wont give up 
turn our music down 
and we whisper 
we're sitting on the ground 
and we whisper 
we turn our music down 
we're sitting on the ground 
the next time I'm in town 
we will kiss girl 
we will kiss girl 
tell me what you thought about when you were gone 
and so alone 
the worst is over 
you can have the best of me 
we got older 
but we're still young 
we never grew out of this feeling that we won't 
feeling that we can't 
that were not ready to give up 
we got older, but we're still young 
we never grew out of this feeling that we wont give up

Posted at 10:22 pm by Bryan
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Song of the Day.

Well I won't back down
No I won't back down
You can stand me up at the gates of hell
But I won't back down

No I'll stand my ground, won't be turned around
And I'll keep this world from draggin me down
gonna stand my ground
... and I won't back down

Chorus:
(I won't back down...)
Hey baby, there ain't no easy way out
(and I won't back down...)
hey I will stand my ground
and I won't back down

Well I know what's right, I got just one life
in a world that keeps on pushin me around
but I'll stand my ground
...and I won't back down

(I won't back down...)
Hey baby, there ain't no easy way out
(and I won't back down...)
hey I will stand my ground
(I won't back down)
and I won't back down...

(I won't back down...)
Hey baby, there ain't no easy way out
(I won't back down)
hey I won't back down
(and I won't back down)
hey baby, there ain't no easy way out
(and I won't back down)
hey I will stand my ground
(and I won't back down)
and I won't back down
(I won't back down)
No I won't back down...

Posted at 10:11 pm by Bryan
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Thursday, April 01, 2004

1 Thing before I go to bed and leave tomorrow.

I'm sorry that it took so long to write this
Song but i gave up
You see, one million words can't describe how
It feels
To know your love

Where did I go wrong? I should have told you 
From the start
That I'm closer than you think when 
We're apart
Nothing that I've tried is as simple as 
This line

Without you my life is incomplete my days are 
Absolutely gray
And so i try to let your heart know for sure 
That i have so much more 
To tell you every single day

I swear i'm giving up my inside to the one 
That I adore
I know this world is big enough for you and I
But I'll give you more

I'm coming home today to wipe the tear drops 
From your eyes
I'm totally enamored by your life
Nothing that I've done has ever been for one

Without you my life is incomplete my days are 
Absolutely gray
And so I try to let your heart know for sure 
That I have so much more  
To tell you every single day
My life is incomplete my rights are 
Absolutely wrong
So wake me up before you leave today 
Something I need to say
'cause there will be nothing when
You're gone

Posted at 12:33 am by Bryan
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Tuesday, March 30, 2004

Crazy/Beautiful

Wrote Saturday Night...:'(...Isn't very good...but here.

Crazy/Beautiful

Pulling you from agony to bliss, with each caress embracing your beauty.
From head to toe, and everlasting kiss.
Telling you all those little things others miss, Like you're lovely and you're beautiful and there's nobody else like you.
A soft spoken wisper from my lips to your ear, "I miss you",
When I reminisce to the times like that.
Now the times like this, Take away your bliss.
My Weaknesses show through and get lost in you.
Secrets held, by a simplistic fool.
Turning into parts of his stepfather he really knew.
He let tragedy in his life, mess up his wonderful reality, a soon to be wife.
Fondness held close to the one he adores.
Her lips let out, "We'll be apart from here on out".
A terrible loss, True love lost in complication.
But Destiny Wins against all. Prayer is held in his mind, at the thought,
"Could she still be mine?" Knowing she is not deserved by him.
He sighs.... "Lovliness and charm wraped in one. Crazes me to an irresistable crave."
I plead guilty. Guilty of having love as fair as a prince...
And being as minor as a peasant.
Yet just when I called her crazy for loving me, she called me beautiful.
She saw my inside, Our fairy tale where the beast meets beauty.
And the Girl meets Destiny.

*Shrugs* :'( Is it wrong to miss? I miss....

Posted at 12:40 pm by Bryan
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I need help

I feel so horrible. Outside to inside. What world am I living in? It's not the same one. It caun't be. I hate it here. I loved it before. Maybe i've just become bitter.... Maybe those around me have. End of the world as we know it? I'm not sure. Perhaps. I was in the hospital last night for my arm and chest. Not to much anyone needs to know about there. But if you wonder, I'll tell. I just need a guide. Where has my guide went? I use to know what to do...now...I caun't help anybody or myself. Bitter and cruel world snuck up behind me. Now I caun't get passed it. I was thinking of drinking right now.... *Shrugs* Who doesn't though right? We all need alcohol to get through anything. Concept is so fucked up and I wish it never existed. I wish I never existed. My existence is a MISTAKE. I thought I could work things out...talk about it. I must be a joke. But we'll see. I just want my friend back, the person who understood me, loved me, adored me. Smiled with me...:'( I caun't find her. She's covered. But I'll uncover her and place her in my arms. And then close my eyes and sleep after kissing her forehead. Friends are always there right...friends are right there to talk, listen when you need them and even if you do something stupid or insane, they will love you and help. They will talk to you and nothing you say could make them love you any less. What happens when your friends run low? You see the end of the bottles? Weird.... :'( I guess that is what happens....*Shrugs and sits the bottle down* I'll take help from anyone who will listen. I prefer one person, but we'll see if I get 1 night. Just one fucking night. :'( Imagine...1 night leading to your ending days, with full happiness. :'( Well, I should really go. I'm going to write a song. True Rockstar huh...Drugs Sex and Rock and Roll. I never believed in that, but I know alot of wonderful people who make it through by living up to that. Personally I think it's a piss poor way to live in my opinion. But what way isn't?.... I lived a life...full of tragedy from what people say. Made it through.... I found love...then that turned to tragedy...I don't know if I'll make it through this one. *Shrugs* I could really use someone to talk to, so if you're a friend of mine...or want to be...even if we're not meant to be but meant to be more...or even if your furious with me...This is going to take alot for me to say...but...I need someone to listen.

Posted at 12:30 pm by Bryan
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Monday, March 29, 2004

Blue Monday

Blue Monday by New Order...Song of the day. I have been listening to it all morning and last night. It captured me in some way. *Shrugs* I feel misplaced...And lost. Tortured stuck in this state of mind. For anyone who relates...I apologize. I had a suggestion from a friend. "Forgetting is easier." I wonder how you begin to forget...because I know I caun't. *Shrugs* And what if you don't even want to...What if you want to bring it back how it was...*Sigh* It looks like i'm being forced to figure that one out. So I'll let everyone know how it goes. As for now...I'm going to watch cartoons. lol. Then perhaps I'll go in the hot tub and loosin my muscles. But first...I'm making myself a burger, homeade french fries and a Milkshake. I wish we had an diner. That would be so wonderful. Like in Grease. Grease of lightening! I think I may help someone and make lunch for 2. I have a friend that is a very poor Cook. Ah the injuries! lol.Make that 2 friends, Corey also. "I'm hungry man...come on" Silly American caun't even cook a burger either.lol This poor Country. Just kidding. Well, I hope everyone has a wonderful lunch and afternoon. Bye for now.

Posted at 12:12 pm by Bryan
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Pictures

I really liked this picture. Ice burgh. Wow....

HAHA I need boobies. lol
This is a giant bunny! Oh my. But he's adorable.

These are just 3 pictures that stuck out from the rest that me and Michelle were looking at today. There's some really funny ones but they were really crude. And some jokes that had us laughing so hard. She snorted! lol I don't know...It cheered me up some lol. So Thank you Michelle. And I hope everyone that looks enjoys the pictures. Have a wonderful day today if I don't write again.

Posted at 11:47 am by Bryan
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